U Find Your Taste Here ! 

1. Two men at a bar struck up a conversation.one of them said you think u have family problem/listen to my situationl:a few days ago i met a young widow with a grown up daughter and we got married. later my father married my stepdaughter.that made my stepdaughter my stepmotherand my father became my stepson.also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.then the daughter of mywife,my stepmother had a son.so i am my own granpa. 2. Cud u do me a favor ? i am playing cards and i need d joker. so please send me your picture ? 3. Sometimes i'm noisy sometimes naughty sometimes exhaggerated sometimes confusing sometimes weird sometimes stupid but remember this, i am silent when i have no load..he03 4. Why did they call it PMS?Mad cow disease was already taken! 5. Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. 6. The biology class was asked to draw da female sex organ in an exam, one lady opened her legs 2 see, the boy next to her screamed: "Sir she's coping from the original". 7. KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm keeping U.. 8. Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. 9. How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer 10. If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!! 11. Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But don't worry...I'm sure science Will come up With something To help you. 12. Teacher to child: How should we add one and one so that they may be more than two? Child: Sir, we should marry them. 13. Mary had a little lamb The doctor fainted!!! 14. GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!! 15. I'm in da ploce station.Da police filled my case "position of good looking" I need some1 ugly 2 bail me out so hurry up!!!!!!!!. 16. How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her 17. Sorry to disturb u. its very urgent. can u sent ur photo by fax, serious matter has comeup. actually we were playing cards and the joker is missing. ha ha 18. I had a wet dream about you last night .... i pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff! 19. I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha 20. As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste. 21. The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends forever~!!! 22. Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say... 23. There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u! 24. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? whats a light bulb??? 25. Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain 26. What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant? is it mine? 27. I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land.... 28. Brain Search: Brain detector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your gsm....still searching.......no brains found 29. Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me perfect but what the hell happend to you.... 30. 6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND 31. What is the difference between men and E.T.? E.T. called home. 32. Person turns on the computer without a keyboard plugged in. When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a "Keyboard Error" message. She then asks "Why did it give me a keyboard error? There isn't 33. Frinedship is more wider than internet as it is also found in rural areas. 34. Lollipop say to chocolate "r we sweet or what?" chocolate says "yes indeed we r, but you should see the person sending this text." 35. What is the different between a woman and a dog........................the price of the neckless 36. Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman 37. If you think you are fat, then you must buy an extra large top. 38. Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for you... 39. U know ur friendship means alot to me.if we r on a sinkin ship and there is only one life jacket left.....i will really miss you 40. A Teacher asked to write a chemical symbol for water. A Student Wrote in his note book 'HIJKLMNO' Teacher saw that and asked, 'Why are you writing like this?' Student replied, 'Yesterday you only told that chemical symbol of water is 'H to O'(H2O) 41. Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funnywell...Enough about ME! How about you? 42. We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE! 43. Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER. 44. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains,because the average man can see better than he can think 45. Tech Support: "What does the screen say now." Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." Tech Support: "Well?" Person: "How do I know when it's ready? 46. A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING me as ur FRIEND is a form of.. ehem GOOD TASTE! 47. A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the friendship between us. 48. Mother was scolding the daughter, "i don't like the guy you are going out with. he is too dumb". "no, momma," she said, "he is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that i used to have every month" 49. a gd friend is like a gd bra... hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, and always close to the heart..... HELLO MY GD BRA :) 50. Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen. 51. Your mu friend cause your: sensational, honest, independent and terrific. in short ur s.h.i.t. 52. Man they got me at the police station : 4 possesion of good looks. they said i need an ugly person 2 bail me out. u busy? 53. What was the 1st sign of soccer in the bible? when jesus went up for the cross 54. At 3:00 a.m. the young wife shook her husband awake, telling him to check the baby. He sat up for a full minute listening, then protested, "But I don't hear her crying." "I know." she replied, "It's your turn to go see why not!" 55. A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend. 56. When saddness fills your heart and tears flow from your eyes. let me know i want to be there for you because im selling tissue buy 1 get one free 57. Wakey,wakey,rise n shine out of bed into mines ur so sexy, ur so fine need ur body on top of mines if u want me in the sack lick ur lips n text me back! 58. A judge charged rs. 1142/- fine to an accused of rape. when asked why rs. 1142/-, judge replied: rs 1000 for rape & 10.2% entertainment tax & 4% vat 59. The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass,But u my friend can kiss my ass! 60. Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you? 61. Not every flower can represent luv,but roses did it.not every tree can stand thirst, but cactus did it.not every monkey can read sms, but u did it. Good monkey.. 62. There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And of course adonkey to pay her bills!! 63. Q: what's hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the middle, that starts with a c and ends in a t? a: a coconut 64. Sardar 2 his friend:yr ur bhabi is very afraid of water. friend: how cum? sardar:last evening i returned home n she was sitting in a bath tub with security gaurd. 65. The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :) 66. Smart man + smart woman = romance smart man + dumb woman = affair dumb man + smart woman = marriage dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy 67. Somewhere in this worl someone realises how great u are and how much of a contribution u have made to society, its not me i think ur a cunt! 68. Little johnny came running into the house and asked, "mommy, can little girls have babies?" "no," said his mom, "of course not." little johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "it's okay, we can play that game again!" 69. Groucho: so, mrs. smith, do you have any children? mrs. smith: yes, thirteen. groucho: thirteen! good lord, isn't that a burden? mrs. smith: well, i love my husband. groucho: lady, i love my cigar but i take it out of my mouth once in a while. 70. How do u cut roads????? by laughing..... because "haste haste cut jaye raste" 71. 2 girls in the bathroom 1st girl; hannah why havnt u any pubic hair? 2nd girl; ah! rose hav u seen grass grown on a bussy road b4? 72. If u delete this message thats bcoz u love me. if u save it thats bcoz u desire me & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. so what u gonna do with it? 73. Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough $money$ you can buy them back. 74. I win a trip 4 2 2 suncicty u are da only person I could think of so what are u doing on month end coz I need some1 2 look after my chicken while I'm gone. 75. Women visiting dentist, sits on the chair,lower her panties,lifts her legs. dentist-i'm not gynacologist. woman i khow i want u 2 pullout my husband's teeth!. 76. Doc to a man with leg burns: two weeks of bed rest, two tubes of anti burn cream and viagra. man: viagra? is it good for burns? doc: no but it will keep the sheet off your legs 77. If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be there for you. 78. Jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid jill forgot her pill and now they have a son!! 79. How cn u face da prblem, if da prblem is ur face!!!! 80. Don't drink water becouse fish are fuc.ing in the water 81. Hours pass, wish 2 c yr face. weeks pass, wish 2 hear yr voice. weeks pass, wish 2 hold u. life passes, will love u 4 ever 82. Ur dog a dummy for dog reading this dog message dog again dog! confused? take the word dog out and read it again 83. Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to bangkok" 84. When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassmentwhen a women talks dirty 2 a man, its ?3.95 per minute! 85. Teacher : "what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?" pupil : "a teacher". 86. What did the elephant say to the naked man? how do you breathe through that thing 87. Q: what's the difference between a wife and a g/f? a: about 40 pounds. 88. U're the perfect person that i know so nice so sweet always on mind so kind and very special but there is something wrong..... wrong send aq!!!!!!!!!joke lng 89. Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found. 90. If black cats are bad luck, then how come men like to eat them. 91. Very funny scotty. now beam up my clothes 92. U r speacial.GOD made you one such person.Dont ever ever ever change anything abot u, except your underwear!!!everyday MUST change ok! wakkaka!! 93. Man goes 4 a blood test.nurse takes the sample,but can't find cotten. so she sucks her finger!man is so happy he asks:"can i have a urine" 94. Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within my heart! 95. I Want triplets you want twins....Lets get in bed and see who wins 96. It's not that u r not beutiful but whenever i saw picture of monkeys i remember you.. 97. Why did the blonde tell her friends to save their burnt off light bulbs?because she wanted to use them 4 the darkroom she was building 98. At work, girl complains to her boss that she's been sexually harrassed. "a guy smells my hair every morning and comments that they smell very nice." the boss enquires, "then what's wrong?" the girl retotrs back, "he's a dwarf." 99. Sex is evil. evil is a sin. sins are forgivin so stick it in. 100. God told me to tell a wonderful persons name,so i told ur name.but he scolded me saying"i told u 2say a wonderul persons name bt u told me a wonderfools name